Another One For the Books

Insomnia - struggle to stay asleep, go back to sleep, or even going to sleep at all.

Oh boy! Let me tell it's son of a ...... let's not go there. Since Friday my boyfriend and I hadn't gone to bad until around 3 am. Fun right (WRONG)! Last night we finally retrieved to bed round 1 something but did I get any shut eye no of course not. My wonderful brain thought it would be fun to go into overdrive and not shut off. I mean seriously I was thinking about having a party for 25th birthday NEXT YEAR!! WHY?!?! Not only that but the blog, YouTube, work, and school. The tossing and turning, hot cold no sleep no win for me.

I can't just shut off my brain or my thoughts as much as I try it doesn't work. That resorts to screen time on the phone and tv most of time I fall asleep to whatever I'm on my phone. Not tonight. They say there's a source to all your problems but will I fine mine? I have forgotten what peace felt and looks like, will I ever find peace again? Never Ever leave unstable person alone with their thoughts it's like a game of ping pong going off. You start at one topic then another and another and another until you forget all about the first topic. Next thing you know you staring at the ceiling thinking about where you went wrong and what can you do to make it right.

Did I mention I was an emotional eater mostly junk food. Don't me wrong I love cooking, I love fruits and vegetables. I just need to learn how to turn bad habits into good habits. Don't get me started on bad habits, I went back to biting my lips and nails again. I was doing so good but I failed myself. Writing, reading, drawing, music, taking pictures, talking to myself (DARE NOT JUDGE ME) that's how I cope. It's not easy fighting yourself each and everyday to not only stay alive but to win a losing battle between yourself and you. We are our worse enemies. I learning and it's a process so bare with me people.

I am Destiny Jones, I enjoy mediation , crystals, nature, and art. Most of all I am a fighter!!